I have a confession…
This past week, I (Nikki) found myself feeling envious.
It all started when I got ‘i-stuck’ scrolling through Instagram and couldn’t help but start to compare myself with others.
Thanks to my ongoing meditation practice, I was immediately able to objectively observe the inner workings of my mind.
And I found myself laughing at what started to come up.
“Why is this person is more successful than I am”?
“Why does that person have so many more followers than I have”?
A few days later…
I was holding my best friend’s newborn baby in my arms.
It was her second.
I again witnessed the thoughts passing by: “why can she fall pregnant so much easier than I can“?
Our age of equality and mass media encourages us to compare ourselves to anyone and everyone.
Our culture of consumerism preferences the material and tangible over the spiritual and abstract.
“She’s skinnier than me”.
“He gets paid more than me”.
“Her house is bigger”.
“His car is better”.
And so, it’s so easy to get caught up in feeling envious of other people and their lives.
In fact, envy is deeply ingrained in the human psyche, and common to all times and peoples.
But what is envy exactly?
I did some research and discovered that for envy to emerge, three conditions must be met:
- We must be confronted with a person with a superior quality, achievement, or possession.
- We must desire that quality for ourselves, or wish that the other person lacked it.
- We must be pained by the associated emotion.
–> Essentially, envy is the pain caused by the desire for the advantages of others and by the feeling of inferiority and frustration which arises due to their lack in ourselves.
The fundamental problem with envy…
is that it blinds us to the bigger picture.
While we envy, we focus on what we lack rather than what we have and could otherwise be enjoying.
Envy can lead to ingratitude, snobbery, resentment, and narcissism.
It can undermine even our closest relationships and it holds us back from achieving our fullest potential.
How can we counter envy?
We can protect ourselves against envy by cultivating humility and gratitude.
By reframing our perspective and focusing on what is positive in our lives.
By remembering that it’s not as much about what we have in life, but by who we are in the face of what we don’t have.
By realising that we can use these uncomfortable moments as an opportunity to develop and grow;
To have trust that good things are coming our way too;
To learn patience while we wait;
And to be committed to realising our goals and dreams in the face of whatever circumstances we are met with along the way.
***If you’d like to learn processes and techniques to unpack more of these themes and ultimately express more of your fullest potential, register for our upcoming Centred Edge program commencing 30th July.***