our good friend and chiropractor, Adrian from Chiro H3, was telling me (Nikki) about a concept he had recently heard about from a client of his.
He explained that the law of the universe is as such that “we are blessed in abundance in the categories that we demonstrate the capacity to manage well those things we have been trusted with already”.
I.e. we are only given more in life once we have shown we can successfully handle what we currently have.
My initial reaction was cynical:
“Great, I’m never going to have children”.
I just couldn’t see how I will ever have everything under control.
Between running the business, facilitating sessions, doing my placement as a provisional psychologist, rearing a puppy, exercising twice a week, meditating twice a day, cooking healthy meals, cleaning the apartment, doing the laundry – there are endless items on my to-do list, the majority of which I never seem to get to.
So the thought of needing to demonstrate that I can handle it all successfully in order to finally be granted children (which we have been wanting for over three years now) seemed daunting, deflating, and ultimately disempowering.
Until I thought about it further.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the ‘busy’ mindset.
Where we measure success by the amount we have accomplished.
So much so that we end up in a constant state of ‘go’;
Frantically rushing from meeting A to commitment B,
madly ticking items off the to-do list,
eagerly taking on more projects,
desperately meeting everyone else’s demands and expectations.
All in attempt to get ahead in the rat race and achieve ‘success’.
With this mindset, indeed, it’s impossible to have everything under control, because we have literally set ourselves up to fail.
If we can only succeed once we have reached the end of our to-do list, but our to-do list never ends because we keep adding items to it, then we can never truly succeed.
So as I see it, we have two options:
1) to stop adding things to our list or
2) to shift our mindset around success.
Unless we want to renounce all possessions and go meditate in a cave for the rest of our lives, option 1 just isn’t practical.
So let’s take option 2.
What if we shifted our mindset to measure success by the amount we have grown rather than the amount we have accomplished?
Did I respond in a way I chose today rather than merely reacting in a way I have been programmed?
Did I take time to bask in a state of ‘be’, rather than drowning in a state of ‘go’?
Did I prioritise looking after my health today rather than giving excuses why it was too hard?
Did I speak kindly to my colleagues and listen compassionately to my friends?
Did I leave someone else in a better place than when they woke up?
This is the kind of success worth chasing.
I’ve known for a long time…
that I don’t want to bring children into a world of chaos.
A world where my success as a mother is defined by how well I tend to their material needs.
I want to bring children into a world of calm.
A world where the true mark of my success is measured by how well I can tend to their spiritual needs.
How often I can ‘be’ with them; present, connected, authentic, and attuned.
My only fault…
was assuming I will magically be able to do this the second my kids pop out.
In reality, it takes time and cultivation, and it needs to start now.
So from this mindset shift, I started to ask myself, what actions can I take to cultivate this world now?
What do I need to re-arrange in my life to ensure I have capacity to prioritise this practice?
What about you?
What are you wanting in your life?
How can you cultivate a practice to ‘be’ with yourself regularly and make space for it now?
As always, we are here if you’d like to have a soundboard so don’t ever hesitate to reach out! 🙂