Last Thursday was my (Kevin’s) Birthday.
I have to admit, it wasn’t SUCH a ‘happy’ birthday.
I couldn’t help but feel a bit down all day.
I chatted with a few of my friends about it and discovered that in fact it’s more normal than I thought.
Maybe even somewhat universal?
Upon further reflection, here’s what I discovered.
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
First of all, there is the usual expectation that comes with birthdays.
As if it is going to be some spectacular day to mark my birth that everyone should celebrate.
Added to this, I had my friends and family calling/texting to ask if I was having ‘the best day ever’.
I kept asking myself: “Am I having ‘the best day ever’?”
Actually, it felt like any other day.
“Oh no, should I be feeling more elated? Is there something wrong with me”?
The reality is…
turning a year older sparked a bit of a life audit in me.
It made me question:
“Am I where I thought I would be at the age of 36? Have I learned enough, experienced enough, earned enough?”
I found myself evaluating and judging where I am at and falling short time and time again.
It was somewhat of a downer, to be honest!
Add to the mix the additional pressure…
of all the birthday texts, messages, and calls that I needed to respond to.
Whilst I deeply appreciated that so many friends and family went out of their way to send me good wishes and value my relationships to no end, the fact of the matter was, it kept hovering over me during the day that I needed to get back to each of them.
When I reflected further…
I discovered that an incredible gift lay disguised in plain sight.
Towards the end of my ‘special day’, I came to realise that what had occurred for me was perhaps the best gift of all.
A break from the usual, sometimes mindless hustle of ‘go, go, go’.
An opportunity to reflect.
To check in on my purpose and realign myself where needed.
To actually acknowledge myself for how far I have come, and what I am still committed to during my lifetime.
I was damn proud of myself that I could turn a situation from a real downer into both powerful insights and tangible actions.
And this was only made possible by my commitment to regular meditation, coupled with the growth and tools that I receive from programs such as Centred Edge.