You know that experience when you are sharing a personal anecdote with another person (be it partner, friend, colleague) and they are looking you in the eyes, but you can just tell that they’re not 100% there? You automatically lose all inspiration to continue the conversation, so you skip most of the details, wrap it up quickly and then ask them a question about themselves instead.
Yes they were physically there, and their attention was on you, but something was missing.
What is the secret ingredient you may ask?
Their full-blown complete undivided presence.
What do we mean by presence? It’s when the other person is 100%:
- Physically (or virtually) with you – they’re not doing anything else such as exercising or driving.
- Mentally with you – they’re not looking at their phone or thinking about other things.
- Emotionally with you – they’re not caught up in their own feelings or reactions and you’ve got their empathy, their compassion, and their love.
- Spiritually with you – you’ve got their their higher Self, their essence, their core.
When someone is giving you their full-blown complete undivided presence, you just know it, you can feel it in your own being. It makes you feel whole, complete, respected, acknowledged, worthy, loved. It makes you want to share yourself with them, to give yourself fully, to help them out in return.
This kind of presence is a Superpower.
Everyone and everything responds to this kind of presence – your clients, your friends, your lover, your children, your pets, and even yourSELF! We would even argue that 1 minute of full-blown complete undivided presence is worth at least 10 minutes of scattered attention (remember that when your kids or pets are begging for your attention).
How do you cultivate this level of presence?
The thing is, it’s not a checklist or a formula. So there are no behavioural tips we can give you. Because it comes from your core. It’s authentic. It’s real. It’s a mindset shift. A being shift. What we can do is steer you in a direction for you to discover it yourself….
Start by working on the things which get in the way of your presence: things like stress, worry, anger, fear, jealousy, resentment. Effortless Meditation and Inner Growth Coaching is the most powerful combination we know of releasing and removing all those barriers. And then it’s practice! Reminding yourself to bring your whole presence over and over and over again until it becomes your default gift to others and yourself.
Our challenge to you this month is to start noticing the difference when someone gifts you their full-blown complete undivided presence, and when you give yours to others. We would love to hear what you discover!